The Breaking Point Before Divorce

It’s a Saturday in the Northeast in October. Fresh coffee odors from the downstairs kitchen are carried by the crisp wind that blows through the open bay windows. The baby is asleep, the home is peaceful, and it’s 7 A.M The Breaking Point Before Divorce.
Even though I had to get up several times during the night for feedings, the dawn is encouraging and portends a new day with a fresh start.
This is the account of my climactic moment prior to divorcing.

My Breaking Point Before Divorce

This Saturday started out like any other Saturday; my husband left for work in the city, 45 minutes away, at 5 a.m. Despite our girls’ screams throughout the night, he slept soundly for 9 hours; moreover, it’s not like he’s ever gotten up to help. I carefully exited my bedroom, where our adorable, just-turned-2-year-old was dozing off on our king-size bed. It’s astonishing how even the largest mattress seems insufficient when two people share a bed.

The Breaking Point Before Divorce
The Breaking Point Before Divorce

Time to start my morning routine, which includes a shower when I exit the bathroom at least three times due to phantom screaming (that’s a subject for another blog), just to find the dreamer utterly unperturbed. I then brush my teeth and throw up my hair because I ran out of time to do it.
In a chic bun that makes me look homeless, followed by breakfast and coffee. I’ll make sure my daughter eats at least twice before lunch, then we’ll plan the week’s worth of meals and go grocery shopping. A mutual acquaintance of my husband and I calls me in the middle of the afternoon to invite me to her birthday supper. I agree and tell my husband that we’ll be home by the time he gets home from work since I’m taking our daughter out to supper with a friend.

The Explosion

Add “explosion” here. Yes. All it takes is that. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as a direct physiological response to his angry response. Was I shocked? Was this a new occurrence? No, but it does not eliminate the fear that is always present. “How could you possibly think about leaving without me?” “How rude and uncaring you are; I work all day to come home to find you out!” Why wouldn’t you even wait for me? The Breaking Point Before Divorce He yells. I resolved that, for once, I was not going to give in as I fought back tears from the berating scolding I was receiving. “Yes, honey, it’s just a birthday dinner, and I’ll be home by the time you get home from work. Can I bring something? I kindly inquired, “What would you like for dinner?” He replies in the most charming way possible, “Wow, you’re a f***.” The call is terminated.

It felt amazing to decide to put on makeup and dress up for the first time in more than two years since having our baby. What a confidence booster it is to stand up for oneself, but the crushing guilt and anxiety stayed in the background. What if he returns home intoxicated once more? The thoughts became a little too overwhelming. All of this will be my fault. I’m being rude, so we’re going to fight. I ought to have said no to her. He’s going to scream and shout in the baby’s face. He might not return home. I should perhaps just visit my mother’s home. Imagine having those thoughts racing through your head when you enjoy going out to dinner with a friend and your infant.

I made him a dish at home that I knew he will enjoy

He is sitting on the couch when I enter, sporting a dejected expression. Oh, he was furious. I enter and say, “Hello, babe.” I brought you some food, I said. Zero reaction. Okay. Cool. To put the infant to bed, I take her upstairs. I return downstairs and sit next to him on the couch while looking for a movie to watch (he has not moved). He says nothing at all to me. The movie is over. I call out, “I’m going to bed, babe, coming?” I am unable to After doing this for five years, I should have known to just shut up, but I’m stubborn. “Oh, okay, so you’re just going to get up and go to bed!” he exclaims as he turns to face me. You give me absolutely no attention! You don’t even care about how hard I work! You couldn’t even wait for me to get home to go to dinner, despite the fact that I do everything for this family. His aggressive demeanor is steeped in hatred and contempt for my entire existence The Breaking Point Before Divorce.

The Breaking Point Before Divorce
The Breaking Point Before Divorce

And we’re off. 11 P.M. Exhausted

Overwhelmed. Scared. A 6’4″ man who weighs just under 240 pounds is shouting at you. His eyes are screaming louder, and the veins in his neck are throbbing. unlike his voice. Every time he yelled, I instantly felt a paralyzing whole body tremor, which I would later understand is your body’s reaction to acute trauma. “I apologize; I had no malicious intent; I was simply celebrating her birthday with our child since I had been invited. I apologize; I brought you food and didn’t mean to disturb you. I was very innocent and naive. I always had good intentions that came from a place of love. For that to be returned, I battled so hard. I sob when I consider how difficult it would be for me to receive love. It’s really sad.

He stalks and threatens me by following me upstairs The Breaking Point Before Divorce
The infant is dozing in Just get to the room and get the baby quickly and safely, I tell myself. Just grab the infant. He is now directly behind me, breathing down my neck and getting angrier by the second. The basket full of clean clothing is directly in front of me. Wow, he’s yelling at me for being unappreciative and unconsiderate when I asked him three times to put those clothes away. They’re still there, seated. I keep thinking that while in this actual battle zone. I try to avoid conversation and simply focus on the infant. She needs to leave the house, or at the very least this room, so I must do that. Our daughter is in my arms as I swoop her up. In front of the person, he blocks the entrance. I beg him to get out of the way so I can enter the other room.

He still won’t let me get out of the room.

Please move aside; I need to put our kid in her room so she may sleep peacefully, and please stop shouting; you are being too loud. I beg once more. Have you ever heard the adage, “You cannot reason with unreasonable people?” Yes, I hadn’t, and I was internally struggling to figure out why this individual was acting inappropriately. I simply couldn’t understand how a father, a spouse, or any human could treat other humans in such a cruel way. When I am finally close enough to the door to sneak inside, I lock our child in. This particular bedroom was hers out of the three extra ones.
Silence. up until it isn’t The Breaking Point Before Divorce .
About 15 feet from the opening of our bedroom door and just adjacent to the baby’s nursery that my daughter and I were hiding in, that hamper full of clothing gets hurled and slammed into the closet door as a result of exiting the room. Things were thrown and there was screaming and yelling. About fifteen minutes later, there was stillness. Finally. Our daughter and I cuddle up and go off to sleep.

The Breaking Point Before Divorce
The Breaking Point Before Divorce

The Next Morning

The next morning, I awakened after a one-eye-open “slumber” to find him still asleep. I decide to leave and get our child and I safely to my parents’ house, which is 45 minutes away. He is awake. He follows me downstairs, takes the baby carrier from my hand, and stands in front of the back door. I can’t get out. He has the baby. “Babe, please give her back to me. I am going to go to my parent’s house for a little while to let this settle and cool down”.
More yelling. He turns, I grab the baby, and we run to the car. He snatches my bag from my arm and throws my phone far into the yard. I ran to it. He follows. I find the phone and call 911. He hovers over me and reaches around, attempting to grab the phone. Dispatch answers.

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